October is birthday month in my family. My oldest son celebrated his special day on the 18th, and my husband and younger son shared a birthday on the 28th. I’m the outlier… my birthday isn’t until February, and I will be turning 55 this upcoming year. Just typing those two numerals startles me a bit. To be honest, I’ve always been challenged by the “5”s in the “birthday world.” Turning thirty, forty, or even fifty didn’t bother me. But I did have trouble with twenty-five, thirty- five, and forty-five. I think that I would always anticipate the next decade at the mid-way point, so in a way, I’d be thinking I was actually older then I was!
However, when I dealt with cancer seven years ago, I made a promise to myself that I’d never complain about getting older… because I certainly didn’t like the alternative! So, I will do my best not to allow fifty-five to ruffle my feathers. I will try to embrace this next milestone instead of becoming a grouchy, sullen or cranky middle-aged woman who commiserates about getting older.
Last week, while having dinner with another couple, an innocent comment sparked a fabulous “aha” moment. During our conversation, our friend, mentioned that he found an older woman extremely sexy. I guess that’s not an abnormal comment, but I usually don’t associate aging females with the term, “sexy.” That’s when it hit me… wouldn’t sexy at sixty be pretty amazing?
Before you start to judge or make assumptions, I’m not talking about how most people describe “sexy.” This is not about being voluptuous, a temptress, or a seductive siren. No, what I’m talking about is quite different. My definition involves something few women possess in their younger years. What I desire to be in five years is totally different. The image that intrigues me does not rest on pure physical appearance, body type, or bedroom eyes. My sexy at sixty exudes three elements… self-confidence, wisdom, and grace.
Self-confidence is a rare gift, almost never seen in young women. I’ve only known several females in their twenties or thirties who were blessed with the innate knowledge of their true self-value. These individuals didn’t compare or judge others because they were completely comfortable with themselves. But, as we all know, most women don’t fall under that category. It takes us time to know who we are so that we can learn to like, accept, and perhaps even love ourselves. That’s when the self-confidence kicks in.
Wisdom also defines my version of sexy. A wise woman doesn’t blurt out the right response to prove that she’s smart. No. Instead, women with wisdom know. While they might or might not have the correct answer, they understand, something much greater. Wisdom isn’t knowledge of a content area or a specific philosophy. Rather, it is a generalized comprehension of how the world functions and how we, as individual beings, interact. That’s why I want to be wise!
And, grace… I think it may be my new favorite word. When I was younger, I wanted to be faster, the first to accomplish something, or the best at what I did. Now, I wish for gracefulness in all things. I hope to flow in my yoga practice. I want to efficiently glide when I run. And, I wish to demonstrate kindness, patience, and compassion during my interactions with others. While grace certainly won’t win me any medals or offer accolades for outstanding accomplishments, it will give me the satisfaction that whatever I do is done with elegance and poise.
Self-confidence, wisdom, and grace… these are my three components for “Sexy at Sixty.” While this may be quite a lofty goal, the good news is that I have some time to work on these characteristics. Sure, I wouldn’t mind having some of those traditional “sexy” traits either, but we all know that those fade with age. What makes up my version doesn’t… they only becomes better with time.
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