What’s your story?
I’m not asking where you’re from, what you do, or the roles you play. Instead, I’m referring to “your story,” you know, the verbiage we claim about why we are who we are... the tales we rehash and retell ourselves and others often identifying as the victim to uncontrollable circumstances.
I’ve claimed many stories in my lifetime. Never did I intentionally spin a false tale, but there may have been a small piece of me that hoped to gain the support or even pity from those around me. While I believed my stories with my entire heart, some of my narratives ultimately became crutches, preventing me from moving on, morphing into my identity.
The crazy thing about the stores we tell ourselves is that they are rarely accurate. In fact, while there are definitely elements of truth and kernels of reality, so much of our stories are unintentionally embellished. In fact we tend to tell our stories from a different lenses than how others present at that the time of the event may have viewed what occurred. It’s not that we’re making up our sagas. No, we truly believe every line from the opening act until the tragic conclusion. Yet, while we claim that our story is one hundred percent accurate, it is told from our perspective so it may be somewhat jaded because it reflects our impressions, ideas, and assumptions that may not be true.
I’m not saying that we intentionally alter the facts to conjure an idealized picture of what we want others or ourselves to believe. The elaborations and exaggerations are not the issue. The real problem occurs when our stories serve to limit who we think we are or what we believe we can do. If our stories go so far as to impact how we see ourselves or others, they then transition from tall tales to damaging viruses that can short circuit our confidence, power, and love for ourselves and those around us.
Consider the woman who proclaims that no matter how hard she tries she cannot meet a “good man.” Instead of acknowledging that she may not be putting herself out there, could be too particular, or perhaps is quite shy, she instead tells herself and others that despite her best efforts, there are no “good men” available. And the more she repeats this statement, the truer her self-proclaimed declaration becomes. She convinces herself that meeting a man is a futile effort as the continued expression of this story actually attracts the claim she is making.
What if this woman could shift her perspective, change her story? Could altering the dialogue impact her love life? I think so. If she modified her verbiage to something like, “I know it’s hard to find someone special, but if I stay open to possibilities and put my best self forwards, I believe that I will meet the person who will be right for me.”
The law of attraction comes into play whenever we repeat the same story. I certainly can’t explain the phenomenon, but when we focus on something (especially the negative) we seem to be sending an open invitation to the Universe to “bring it on.” Do you know what I mean? Perhaps you’ve experienced this, too.
What if you changed your story? Could you then attract more of what you want? Could you shift your focus from the past to the now? If so, you would no longer bring the heaviness of “what was” with you. Might living in the present open you to new possibilities, erase the pre-rehearsed ending to your story?
While I believe the answer is a resounding “yes,” it’s best for you to decide. What story have you told yourself and others a few too many times? Is it possible to change it? Take some time to consider this proposition. And maybe rewrite the ending to one of your tragic tales. Toss it to the Universe and see what happens.
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